Declaration.

IT IS TO BE DECLARED THAT I,
HETTY RODDA,
LOVE
CALLUM BAKER,
THE MOST.

I saw a t-shirt that had written on it;

FUCK
YOU,
YOU
FUCKIN'
FUCK.

I quite liked it.



/

/////

" Human future versus annihilation, love versus hate, humanity versus the machine, balance and peace versus chaos and war"
-Spook

Because I felt like it.

Today I was filled with anger, frustration and annoyance. I wanted to do something, feel something.
I walked down to the beach with Bronte, rambling and yelling about the things that made me mad.
We got to the beach and I yelled " I AM GOING TO GO SWIMMING"
Bronte replied "are you actually..." and turned to see me removing my pants.
I ran into that freezing winter water in my underwear and with my broken toe, and dove right in.
The feeling was the best i have ever had. One of relief and sensation, and also a bit cold.
It was the best thing I could of done.
I love the beach.
I wish I was a wave in the sea.
I felt achieved that I had thought of something and then just done it, no matter the consequences.
It filled you with confidence, like you could do anything.

And anything can be done.
It just hasn't been tried yet.



.

"Its like this land is either run, by labor or liberal.
but don't get it twisted they're the same as the criminals."

The Railway

Set the scene.
You are a Cambodian family living in a slum.
You already hardly have anything, and make as much as 20 cents from your job.
You would think, that it would be hard for people to take more from you.
You're wrong.
The government has ordered everyone living in your slum to ship out. As they
want to build where you live. They want to develop over the only shelter you have.
Group by group they are going to send all of you to a piece of land, with
No clean water.
No electricity.
And one toilet.
They give you little money, to build a house there.
How caring.
How bloody lovely that they choose to develop in the poorest part of that town.
Where you hardly have anything to start off with anyway.
What now?
I am sure it is nice for you to know that you have such a nice government looking out for you.
Sending you to a place, that is even worse then the one you already live in.
SCENE.

There is no justice in that. Nothing about that is fair.
And yet, that is their life.




.

Its been in front of us since the beginning.
We need to open our eyes, instead of pretending it isn't there.
You may no its happening, you may acknowledge it,
but take it a step further, and put yourself in their shoes.

Poverty exsists. More then it should.
And as much as I hate to say it, we caused it.
It's up to us, to fix it.



.

Konichiwa, watashiwa Hetty desu. Dozoyoroshiku.

"I miss being surrounded by people who just appreciated the fact that, they were alive."

At the moment I go through life, and when I hear some things , or see some things I can feel
A Bit of me fading away.
A bit of my hope disappearing.
Till there will be nothing but despair.
What will happen to me then?
It scares me out of my mind.

Borrowed light - Anna Fienberg.

"The silence was dreadful, almost shameful. Like wearing only your knickers to a black tie function.
I mean, you're not performing like you're supposed to. You're being yourself instead of someone else. It was all so naked somehow. All that inexpressible feeling. I think sometimes it's the nakedness of things that people can't deal with. Why do we have to spend so much time painting over things, pretending? "

Sitting. Waiting. Hoping.

I sit by her bedside, sitting, waiting, hoping.
The walls, blankets, everything around me is white.
I look back at her. tubes coming out of her arms, her head hairless.
How did this happen? How could someone choose for something so horrible, to happen to someone so amazingly lovely.

I moved states for her. So she could get help.

The first time I made pasta. I was in grade 6, the age of 11.
She hadn't been too well that day. Dad had been at work. So I made her a bed on the couch, put bewitched on and began to make her pasta. She had said that was exactly what she had felt like.
I had to use the stove, I had never used it before. But I figured it out.
I felt so proud of myself, cooking pasta with no help at all.
I gave it to her, and she ate at least half of it.
It scared the hell out of me.
She lay there, looking so fragile. What else could I do?
Dad came home and took her to hospital. I stayed home and looked after my little brother, reassuring him that she would be home soon, despite my panic.

2 years later, she came home. Properly.

She had stayed every now and then, but she had always left again.

Sometimes, it felt like, she was a different person. My closest friend.
It was hard to no how to act.

I had to grow up fast during those two years. Someone had to.

You see the raw edges of everyone. You see grief. You see struggle. You see everything.

You hear doubts. You hear smashing. You hear noises.

But still you sit there, Sitting, Waiting, Hoping.









.

scared.

Looking out at the pretty sea,
I just want it to swallow me,
To leave the ugliness of earth
To understand the reason of birth.
Looking out at the pretty sea,
I just want it to swallow me.
To leave destruction and guilt,
To go to sleep, under a water quilt.
Looking out at the pretty sea,
I just want it to swallow me.

We were given this. This planet. To create, discover, learn and help.
We have created pollution, illness's , poverty.
We have discovered nuclear, guns, destruction.
We have learnt........nothing.
Only how to make things worse.

"Change, its a wonderful thing. You know how subatomic
particles don't obey physical laws? They act according to
chance, chaos, coincidence. They run into each other in the
middle of the universe somewhere and BANG! Energy. Well,
the same as that. That's the great thing about the universe,
--unpredictable. That's why it's so much fun.
-Tony.

"sometimes I think I was born backwards, you know, come out my mum the wrong way.
I hear words come pass me backwards. The people I should love, I hate.
And the people I hate..."
-Effy

Hidden.

"It's got potential this day. Its pregnant"
-Cook

The gay guy who isn't actually gay.

I have a best friend.
He is a homosexual.
Not really, but just pretend.
He helps me decide on girlish things and gives me girlish advice.
We like to organise slumber parties and talk about feelings.
His name is;

Rex (reh-xs) Kane (kay-neh) Hart (hah-teh)

Once he really hurt me because he didn't tell me he was getting a hair cut.
But its ok, I forgave him eventually.
He owns a pair of bananas in pajamas pajamas, and pink leiderhosen.
But its ok, because thats who he is.

He can be stupid every now and then, and mess about,
But he likes to put make up on
so forever and ever he will always be,
My bestest gayest guyest friend, In the entire universe.

In fact, I have written him a song.

Ohhhh Rexxx,
We pretend you gayyy
even thoughh your nottt,
especially in thatt wayyy.
Youu mayyy have longg hairr
and love heart underrwearrr,
But hey!
You're speciall in your owwwwwwnn wayyyyyyy.

The end.

Thank you for pretending to be gay for me rex.

:)

Pride and Prejudice

In vain I have struggled.
It will not do.
My feelings will not be repressed.
You must allow me to tell you how ardently I admire and love you..

These words are ones which were written in Jane Austen's book 'Pride and Prejudice'
when Mr Darcy is confessing his love to Elizabeth Bennet.

I wish people would speak like that now a days.
To be creative with their vocabulary and the how they put their words.

Things like LOL, OMG, ROFL etc etc annoy me to bits.
They are not true words.

If you have the time to write, 'TO@TZ BaBzzzz yah guRl, C u Ther."

surely we have the time to speak like Mr Darcy.
Go on, I dare you.

.

A poem by William Blake;

I wish, I wish that I could know
The places I have yet to go,
The ways I'll change, the things I'll do,
The special dreams I'll make come true,
I wish, I wish that I could see
The life that lies ahead of me
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-

http://www.worldvision.com.au/40hourfamine/

Imagine by sparing a few hours of your life.
Living without something for 40 hours.
You could help a complete stranger, live a better life.

I couldn't say it enough. What you may think is just $3, can feed a family.
Please, take the time to make a change.
.
.
.
.

Sometimes I cannot help but wish that people could see thing through my eyes.
Just for a minute or two, just to understand.



Everyone sees things through their own eyes, in their different ways.
Imagine being able to see what everyone was thinking or feeling.
To be able to step inside their shoes, and live what their living.
Imagine that.


.

Some things just hit you.
And you don't know how to react.
A lady comes and sits in front of you,
crouching, tears down her face.
Begging you. Begging you to help her. To make her life better.
But you have to say no.
How do you react to that...?
.

No life is a peaceful one.

People say, that they would like to be a piece of grass. It would be so peaceful they say. Would it?
Being trampled on all day, getting mowed, being eaten. It would be such a short life.

Maybe that is why it would be peaceful.

It wouldn't live long enough to suffer. To experience any unhappiness.


Personally, if I could be anything I would be a hummingbird.
Flying through the air, drinking nothing but nectar, and having the same name as a delicious cake.
Yes. I think I would like that, very much indeed.

......

I DON'T UNDERSTAND. OK?! EVERYTHINGS JUST TOO DARK! I CAN'T SEE. OK?!

Our world is one giant candle. Every car, every building, every person, is taking it's turn to take a piece of wax. There isn't an endless supply. Someday it will all just....disappear. And then what?
What is your hummer going to do for you then? What are those new Tv's you brought just because you could going to do? Everything little thing counts, and it is all going to add up.

Don't believe me? Just you wait.


.

Enveloped.

I went for a walk to the beach today.
The sea looked so beautiful. I stood by the edge of the water, looking out at the sparkling water.
I looked behind me. Cars drove down roads. Town houses were in the making.
I looked back at the sea. It looked so much more welcoming. So much more happy.
I wanted the sea to swallow me up, to take me away from this earth we have made ugly.
I took another step towards the sea, so the water touched the ends of my shoes.
Everything would be so lovely in there, if I lay down and stayed there. Forever in a lovely place.
As I was going to take another step, I remembered that this earth did have stars.
The ones who make this life worthwhile.
I took a step back.
Thank you to those stars that I am dangling from, clinging onto.


.

The truth.

"Bombing for peace is like fucking for virginity"

But i'm not your property

History will have to record that the greatest tragedy of this period of social transition was not the strident clamor of the bad people, but the appalling silence of the good people.
-Martin Luther King. Jr

There were billions of people, all gathered around the square. Whispering words of wisdom to each other. At the front, a shadow loomed over the crowd. Watching, daring someone to speak. To share their whispers. People would glance nervously at the shadow. Hoping he wouldn't overhear that they too had thoughts. Every now and then the shadow would sweep his arm over the crowd, making them all cower and whimper. He could hear the sound of whispers though. He wanted to get rid of them.
Out of no where he heard a sound, louder then a whisper.
He glared at the crowd. trying to pin point that sound.
Everyone was staring. Staring at this person.
Standing amongst the billions of adults, was a kid.
The shadow roared. No one was allowed to be a kid here.
The kid stood with the grown ups. The smallest one there, yet the creater of that sound.

" NO MORE WHISPERS." He shouted. "YOU ARE WHISPERING ABOUT MY FUTURE!"

The shouting made the shadow shrink back. No one had ever raised their voice before.

No one had ever raised their voice before.

The grown ups looked at the shrinking shadow.
Why hadn't they said something before?
It could of all been over.

The kid looked at the adults and said, "Please."

They should of raised their voices.



.

Consequences.

A riot is the language of the unheard.
-Martin Luther King Jr.

If things keep going the way they are......If the world continues to fall apart in front of us.............

What will become of us?

If we keep destroying our lives.......If we continue to block our ears to the cry of help.........

What will become of us?

Maybe the real question is, how did we get here in the first place.

We need to listen.............We have been warned.............its close to finished.

What have we become?

I feel like shouting. Screaming. Begging. We need to change. And we need to change now.



.

In Pitch Dark.

My newspaper contained this:

Good government and a vote for every citizen; these things are fine
Yet what use are they without a bird singing upon every head?
For every soul- bird music, bird happiness, bird feeling.
But our birds leave- and sadness begins to arrive
Why do the birds leave us? do our heads become too loud and harsh and busy?
Com back little bird, my head is safe now. It is calm with sadness. I am ready.
-Leunig

I wonder where my bird is. Circling the world, filled with happiness. I wonder where my bird is?

I know though, it is time for it to come back.

.

He goes by the name...Cajaba.

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
I don't think you could find someone as sweet. x

He was the cool kid I was the weird kid.
I usually have a way of describing things; how I feel and what it was like. And I know how corny this may sound but, when it comes to describing how much I love, Callum James Baker, I become wordless. Literally.

People are always saying how kids my age could are far too young to know such stuff. But I know. I am for certain, that there is no one I would rather be with.

And even when he is old, and married, with grand kids, sitting at the table reading the newspaper, I know I will be the one in the nursing home, looking through pictures of when we were 15. There is possibly no way I could ever get over this kid. He is perfect :)

I don't know how else to say it, because when I think of how much he means to me, all these thoughts rush to my head, and I can't get them all out.
I know its enough, but I can only describe it in these four words Mr Baker.

I. Flipping. Love. You :)


.

I call it: A Photo Taker.

Taking photos, just feels right.


.

Real Estate.

One night, I was talking to my friends about our happy places. It was my turn to say mine, and I couldn't think of one.

I went onto a real estate website and searched "Happy place"
It came up with, "happy place was not found."


What now?

out of the blue.

I haven't been a happy camper lately. I've just been saddened at....life really. The way we treat it and the way some people live it. Crying randomly and thinking everything was pointless.

Today though, I was making a trip to the general store to get some buttermenthols to cure my winter cold and I saw something that made me stop.

In the gray sky, was the most perfect rainbow I had ever seen.
It stood out magnificently, its colours the brightest thing in the sky.
I must of looked like a weirdo, standing absolutely still, in awe of this natural wonder.
To others it was just a rainbow.

It made me think though. There is nothing to be sad about. Well, thats not completely true. There are millions of things to be sad about. But, those are things that can be fixed, and being sad about them isn't going to get you anywhere.

That one simple, full rainbow, changed everything. It made me...happy.

I am grateful to that rainbow. So grateful in fact, that I blew it a kiss before I turned the corner into my street.